..."I might toss that project tomorrow."
Basically, the day after I decided to do NaNo (1200 words in), I woke up and realized I didn't want to do it anymore. It wasn't so much because of the 50,000 word panic. Rather, it was the idea of spending a whole month working on a story that I, quite honestly, didn't give a shit about.
The whole "whatever" premise of the story was what first made it appeal to me: that I could spend the next month writing whatever the hell I wanted--as opposed to The Temple Well, which I absolutely love, but is somewhat of a hot mess. (I've been stressing out about the same scene for the last two months.) So I decided to take a break and try NaNo. I came up with a basic idea of a character and a premise, and it was moderately fun for about an hour. But by the time I went to bed that night, I realized how much the whole thing bored me and I threw it out the next morning.
I'm glad I tried NaNo, but this very brief experiment was enough to help me decide that it isn't for me. I'd rather spend the rest of my life slaving away and obsessing over a project I care about than half-assing something that means nothing to me.
For those who are continuing with NaNo, good luck to all of you! As for me, I'll still be here with that unfinished ten-year project that I sometimes call a novel.
Also, life update: One of my roommate and I are moving next month. Currently, we are subletting a rooms in a three-bedroom in Jersey City. Due to our apartment being kind of shitty (with slow wifi) and our other roommate (read: the guy who gets our rent money) being kind of a sketch-ball, we have decided to move. Yesterday, we looked at a place in Ironbound (the nice section of Newark) and fell in love with it.
I'm already planning our housewarming party!
(I am kind of sad about leaving Jersey City, though. I love Jersey City, or at least as much as I could love any part of New Jersey.)