Saturday, October 6, 2012

Imagine my hilarity when I came across this

Yesterday, YA Highway's weekly link roundup directed me to this page: http://io9.com/5948206/here-are-the-fifteen-professions-that-drink-the-most-coffee-guess-whos-number-one

Apparently, it's a new travesty that writers aren't #1 on the list of coffee drinkers.

Oh, writers. Sometimes you guys just remind me of those thirteen-year-olds who think they're so sophisticated when they order frappaccinos at Starbucks. It's just so...adorable.

I've lost track of all the writer/book blogger accounts where the title or "about me" section mentions something about loving coffee.* Bragging about your caffeine addiction is such a writer thing to do, and it's not hard to see why. After all, the cafe is the center of the 'intellectual lifestyle.' You're not a 'real writer' unless you hang around in cafes with your laptop. And you're not a 'real writer' unless you have internal struggles and addictions--but alas, the days of bohemian writers are long gone. Nowadays, writers want to make art while simultaneously managing stable, loving families, which means that an addiction to anything more serious than caffeine is a big no-no. (Also, it is now considered unprofessional to brag about your drug use on your blog. Unless you're a really obscure visual artist, and then it's only okay if you're using said drugs as 'inspiration.') In other words, caffeine addiction proves that you're a 'real writer.' (Even though, in actuality, all caffeine addiction proves is that you're an average American.)

Now scientists. Scientists don't brag about their caffeine addictions. Why? Because it won't impress anyone. If you work in a lab, your caffeine addiction is already assumed.

*That's not saying I'm judging those writers who talk about coffee in their profile. I know you're not doing it to impress anyone--you really do just love coffee. (Some of my favorite bloggers do this, actually.)

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